| WISH I HAD ANSWERS! |
[31 May 2009|12:39pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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It has been awhile since my last blog...
I am not the same girl that started this blog nor am
I the same girl I was a month ago!
I wish I had answers and I wish I knew where this life was
leading me... I think about the past and I think about how
I could of changed what happened... but I dont regret
anything!
I JUST WISH I KNEW!
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| lost... |
[16 Oct 2008|11:15am] |
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mood |
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 cranky |
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so much shit... and such lil time to ponder about it!!!
blah!
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[12 Sep 2006|12:31pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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some lame radio station |
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i am in an undescribable depressing mood... just when life was all coming together there it goes again falling apart there it goes again slapping me in the face... i cant deal...
my car is in the shop and there goes the same amount i paid for it... i work at a loan company and there is the irony... cant afford to get it out so hey why not get a loan yeah right cant get a loan from this company if you work her policy this and policy that... thought maybe mark could but hey mark doesnt have credit...
can i get some lube please before the world decides that it wants to fuck me in the ass... then on top of that my checkbook is shot to hell and back because of the slack ass of a roommate that we have... mother fucker is $600.00 in dept with us and who knows when i will see that...
tommy is coming back and before tommy can live with us we have to give fuckface the boot and that is going to be great... great fun... yeah nothing can ever be smooth operations...
going back to the car... my pops who has all this $$$ wont help all my family changes the subject when it comes to financial troubles... i hate life, fuck it... my lunch break is never long enough so i am cutting short...
the last time i went out that was last nite b/c the people in albany suck ass and i only went out to set up a computer for crystal... all the peeps i thought were friends in albany are showing true colors, nobody visits me and mark unless they want something and that shit is lame so fuck them all...
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[09 Mar 2006|05:38pm] |
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hey world i am still kickin....
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| hmmm... |
[17 Aug 2005|11:46pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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kittie--- charlette |
] |
tonite was my 1st nite at the bar b q place i am a waitress... yeah charbo finally got a job and it was ok...
ready to move...
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| :O |
[29 Jun 2005|03:39pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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| Your IQ Is 100 | 
Your Logical Intelligence is Above Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Above Average
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Above Average
Your General Knowledge is Above Average |
i am a smart kiDD
me...
| Your Cancer Drinking Style |
 You are a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer darling?
Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, you must guard against lushery.
You are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating yourself on VIP lists.
And, in true Hollywood style, you are never really drunk; instead, you get "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated).
But most people agree: there's nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with you. Your sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you adore anyone who serves up vanilla vodka and soda. | | Your Signature Cocktails | | Ruled by the moon, Cancers are intrigued by the idea of moonshine -- any booze, from a bourbon press to a whiskey and soda to grandpappy's special brew in a mason jar, will do. You also like comfortingly warm and sweet drinks, like hot toddies and hot buttered rums. A six-pack of Bud will also do. | | Your Celebrity Drinking Buddies | | Jessica Simpson, Pamela Anderson, George W. Bush, Tom Cruise, Will Ferrell, Lil' Kim, Lindsey Lohan, and John Cusack. |
mark...
| Your Leo Drinking Style |
You love to drink and dance -- you're likely a fabulous dancer.
You're usually pretty a good drinker as well, losing your commanding dignity and turning kittenish.
Of course, you're quite aware you're darling -- Leos will be Leos, after all.
You generally know your limit, probably because you loathe losing self-control.
When you get over-refreshed, flirting will ensue -- and perhaps not with the person what brought you.
But you are not the type to break rules even when drunk, so others try to ignore your naughty behavior.
You'll just make up for it with a sheepish (and hung over) apology the next day. | | Your Signature Cocktails | | Leos like flashy drinks, be they complicated tropical concoctions festooned with umbrellas, like a Bahama mama or the more common strawberry daiquiri or mai tai. Indeed, you often have a taste for the fruity -- try a screwdriver, or add an extra cherry to the next Manhattan. Your sense of drama lends itself to a kir royale, of course. | | Your Celebrity Drinking Buddies | | Edward Norton, Bill Clinton, Madonna, Debra Messing, Martha Stewart, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Christian Slater, and Fred Durst. |
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| ::GRR:: almost all men aggravate me... ALMOST NOT ALL!!! |
[28 Jun 2005|01:10pm] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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continued...
well last nite i was sitting there and i really didnt realize that romel liked me like that i was always just a friend to all the other guys in my life... and now i am like the one thing that some of these so called friends are lusting for these days...
romel pouted and acted an ass and showed his ass last nite towards me... he met mark and then it all began...
wenci came up to me and was like "ur lil friend is 38 hot it seems like... he mean muggin like a muthafucka..."
all i could say was "i dont know why? mark is my heart and that is my fiance... we have been engaged for over a year and i mean... ::speechless::" well romel played the ignore game i guess u could say for a lil bit... but i do not care... i have always told guys that i make a better friend then i do girlfriend and that is what i have been to these dudes a friend and now everyone wants to act funny...
fuck it... when i was single no one ever noticed me and now that i am getting married in less than a year everyone wants to act funny... fuck it... YA KNOW I HAVE NEVER HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE... ::GRR::
thank goodness for guys like: CHAD, CODY, AND TOEKNEE...
I AM NOT JUST A PIECE OF ASS TO THEM...
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| ::grr:: |
[27 Jun 2005|07:12pm] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
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music |
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the cowboy in me... tim mcgraw |
] |
yeah for me i got my car...
last thursday i went home and i got my car...
2004 Nissan Sentra!!!
yeah!!!
well i get a call while i was at the house and it was berto... grr this really pisses me off...
this asshole called at fucking 5:30 and rambles on for like 10 minutes talking about now or never... you have to come to see me or we will catch on next lifetime... blasay blah... well i was like i dont get it...
he says that we cant be friends any longer... b/c i am engaged and the only reason he stayed my friend this long was he wanted to fuck... excuse me... what the fuck?
well i told him like i have always he had a chance when we first met and he instead chose miranda one of my best friends for god's sakes and that ended that... grr... i dont want no sloppy seconds... grrr!!!
anyways i said fine... he then said that he had to fight me off of him before and being the nice person he is he stopped me from messing up me and mark? now if i was there and he had to fight me off what if i was there then wouldnt i know??? but the night he is talking about was easter weekend and we sat in the car in an awkward silence and like i have with EVERYONE i tickled and picked at him and all of a sudden that is a sexual gesture... so every time i play around with someone that is a sexual gesture... wtf... i hung up on him and he called back and said he was joking... whatever... he wasnt that convincing when he said he was joking...
well drunken man words is a sober man's thoughts...
well any ways i went to see my heart mark all the way to chattanooga, tn <--- all by myself yeah... and we had a wonderful weekend... i told him all all about berto and what he said... later that night berto called at like 5:30 and mark wanted to say some words and i told him to go ahead and say what he wanted b/c i am soo sick of guys saying that kind of shit to me... but he didnt... and berto left me a voicemail and said that he doesnt recall speaking to me... and he is sorry for what he said... ::grr whatever::
to be continued...
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[20 Jun 2005|11:19pm] |
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mood |
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can't sleep |
] |
Part Romantic Kisser |
For you, kissing is all about feeling the romance
You love to kiss under the stars or by the sea
The perfect kiss involves the perfect mood
It's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet | Part Passionate Kisser |
For you, kissing is about all about following your urges
If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story
You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses
A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble |
| Your Daddy Is Darth Vader |
What You Call Him: Papito
Why You Love Him: Because he's your baby daddy |
Your #1 Love Type: INFP | The Idealist
In love, you crave a long term, harmonious relationship.
For you, sex doesn't come quickly - it takes time for you to open up.
Overall, you are supportive, nurturing, and expressive.
However, you tend to be shy and protective of your personal space.
Best matches: ENFJ and ESFJ |
Your #2 Love Type: ENFP | The Inspirer
In love, you are passionate and eager to develop a strong bond.
For you, sex should be playful, creative, and affectionate.
Overall, you are perceptive and bring out the best in your partner.
However, you tend to hold on to bad relationships after they've turned bad.
Best matches: INTJ and INFJ |
Your #3 Love Type: ISFP | The Artist
In love, you feel deeply and experience intense emotions.
For you, sex is serious. It's how you best express your feelings.
Overall, you are laid back, warm, and a good listener.
However, you tend to seem lazy and disinterested sometimes.
Best matches: ESFJ and ENFJ |
Your #4 Love Type: ESFP | The Performer
In love, you relish every moment and tend to get caught up in passion.
For you, sex is how you get in touch with all your senses.
Overall, you are creative, popular, and flexible.
However, you tend to dislike criticism and avoid any conflict.
Best matches: ISTJ or ISFJ |
Your #5 Love Type: INFJ | The Protector
In love, you strive to have the perfect relationship.
For you, sex is nearly a spiritual experience, a bonding of souls.
Overall, you have high expectations for any relationship you're in.
However, you tend to hold back a part of yourself.
Best matches: ENTP and ENFP |
---------------------------------------------------
sped is dating that overbearing asshole we like to call jose...
jackass...
grr another time-- to explain that one...
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| :P |
[20 Jun 2005|09:50pm] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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music |
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eels-- medication wearing off |
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) tigerfrog
You Are Absinthe!
 You have a unique personality. Although most like you, sometimes you take some getting used to. You can be a bit strong. You are full of energy and sometimes flamboyant. You are the life of the party but if people are not careful you can knock them on their ass. What Naughty My Little Pony Are You?
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| heartbroken and pissed the fuck off... |
[20 Jun 2005|09:36pm] |
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mood |
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 anxous-like an anxiety attack |
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music |
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my riot bitch the 1 and only ani difranco |
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riot bitch is how i feel... fuck the world and all the ugly things i love... fuck it all to hell... i wish that i was wiser and i knew all the answers... fuck this shit... all i do is cry and no one can feel my tears or even cares for my tears... well sometimes i wonder why am i still here?
-----------------------------------
not a pretty girl-- ani difranco...
i am not a pretty girl
that is not what i do
i ain't no damsel in distress
and i don't need to be rescued
so put me down punk
maybe you'd prefer a maiden fair
isn't there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere
i am not an angry girl
but it seems like i've got everyone fooled
every time i say something they find hard to hear
they chalk it up to my anger
and never to their own fear
and imagine you're a girl
just trying to finally come clean
knowing full well they'd prefer you
were dirty and smiling
and i am sorry
i am not a maiden fair
and i am not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere
and generally my generation
wouldn't be caught dead working for the man
and generally i agree with them
trouble is you gotta have yourself an alternate plan
and i have earned my disillusionment
i have been working all of my life
and i am a patriot
i have been fighting the good fight
and what if there are no damsels in distress
what if i knew that and i called your bluff?
don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down
whether or not you ever show up
i am not a pretty girl
i don't want to be a pretty girl
no i want to be more than a pretty girl
------------------------
napoleon--- ani difranco
they told you your music could reach millions
the choice was up to you
you told me they always pay for lunch
and they believe in what i do
and i wonder if you'll miss your old friends
once you've proven what you're worth
and i wonder when you're a big star
will you miss the earth
and i know you always, always want more
i know you, you'll never be done
because everyone is a fucking napoleon
everyone is a fucking napoleon
and the next time that i saw you
you were larger than life
yeah you came and you conquered
you were doing all right
you had an army of suits behind you
and all you had to be was willing
and i said i still make a pretty good living
you must make a killing, a killing
and i hope that, that you are happy
i hope that at least you are having fun
oh but everyone is a fucking napoleon
well everyone is a fucking napoleon
you say that, so that's the way it's gonna be
so that's what this is all about
i think that that's the way it always was
you chose not to notice until now
oh now that, now that there's a problem
you call me up to confide
and you go on for over an hour
about each one that took you for a ride
and i guess that you dialed my number
because you thought for sure that i'd agree
i said baby, you know i still love you
but how dare you complain to me
oh but everyone is a fucking napoleon
everyone is a fucking napoleon
everyone is a fucking napoleon
--------------------------------
untouchable face--- ani difranco
think i'm going for a walk now
i feel a little unsteady
i don't want nobody to follow me
'cept maybe you
i could make you happy, you know
if you weren't already
i could do a lot of things
and i do
tell you the truth i prefer the worst of you
too bad you had to have a better half
she's not really my type
but i think you two are forever
and i hate to say it but you're perfect together
so fuck you
and your untouchable face
fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
who am i
bet you can't even tell me that much
2:30 in the morning
and my gas tank will be empty soon
neon sign on the horizon
rubbing elbows with the moon
safe haven of the sleepless
where the deep fryer's always on
radio is counting down the top 20 country songs
out on the porch the fly strip is
waving like a flag in the wind
you know i really don't look forward
to seeing you again soon.
you look like a photograph of yourself
taken from far far away
i won't know what to do
i won't know what to say
so fuck you...
i see you and i'm so perplexed
what was i thinking
what will i think of next
where can i hide
in the back room there's a lamp
that hangs over the pool table
and when the fan is on it swings
gently side to side
there's a changing constellation
of balls as we are playing
i see orion and say nothing
the only thing i can think of saying
is fuck you...
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| :( |
[20 Jun 2005|04:36pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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who am i?
mark and me just got into a fight and u know if i learn to just be quiet it would all bee better...
he acts differently towards me some days and that is how all this was sparked...
i went and looked up our sprint info and i found a few numbers and i was just curious... damnit so i did a reverse lookup and found out who the numbers belonged to... well they were some of his old friends and i asked him about it and now he is pissed with me...:( i told him that i just needed to know... i needed to be reassured it wasnt like i fucking called the numbers all i did was... i dont know i can fuck up everything...
i hate myself... wish i could make it all go away and i wish i could just fade away-- no more tears and no more pain... just an oblivion...
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[16 Jun 2005|04:00pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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music |
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ur body is a wnderland... |
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chads would have already died... from a heart attack... and see toeknee i always knew i would call u daddy one day... cody u were always like a mom figure... and i love all of yall...
Which My So-Called Life Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
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| weird shit... almost true... or is it all true? |
[16 Jun 2005|02:06pm] |
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mood |
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 weird |
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music |
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better off alone |
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LJ Friends Meme by coolerq• You must tell 10 people about this game.
• mark is the one that you love.
• toeknee is one you like but can't work out.
• You care most about alex.
• romel is the one who knows you very well.
• miranda is your lucky star.
• castles in the sky is the song that matches with mark.
• my immortal is the song for toeknee.
• better off alone is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.
• and sweet home alabama is the song telling you how you feel about life
Take this quiz
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